Professional German journalist Hans Fritz has attended the Clinton Global Initiative in New York – and is reporting from it in form of a letter. Will president Clinton have the guts to answer?

Dear Bill Clinton,

thank you very much for your invitation to your Clinton Initiative. I was looking forward to hear your speech about global things, because your sandwiches are always great. Wait: They were great. The ones you served today where a bit to mushy, cause the tomatoe moistened the bread too much. While you were speaking about global stuff, I was thinking “this very important!” (This is the only quote in my report, because it is a report. The fact that it is by the reporter shows, that I am a professional journalist!). Your Frau is also very important (I mean Mrs. Hillary Clinton) and I guess she is not home so much. Cause she has to start revolutions in the middle east. Had she been home, this scandal with your saggy sandwiches would have not happend. In Germany, Angela Merkel would never serve a sandwich like the chewy chunck of tomatoe-juice that you had rolled in. A disgrace to sandwiches! Unworthy! Frau Merkel would rather not serve nothing, then to serve an insult like this. She mostly serves nothing.

Since your Mrs. Clinton is travelling so much already, I would propose you ask her to bring you a bag full of mandelhörnchen or “nusshorns”, the next time she visits her pal Angela Merkel of Deutschland. Here are my reasons for nusshorns:
1. Nusshorn never turn mushy
2. Nusshorn have no tomatoes inside
3. Nusshorn Nusshorn Nusshorn! (Hansfritz likes a nusshorn a day)

I´ve attached a photo, so you can show it to your wife, so she can fill the Airforce ONE with nusshorns.

Nusshorn - unsoakable by tomatoes!

Thank you, Mr. President. Guten Abend,

Hansfritz